// My Song, My Story

	Lyrics Spam of the day Comme si à chaque seconde Je succombais à tort Comme si rien d'autre au monde Me paraissait si fort As if every second I succumbed to wrong As if nothing else in the world Seemed so strong Friday, May 1, 2009 Hate I can’t breathe. It hurts, it hurts so much when I think of them, when I think of how they sound like, when I think of how they smell like, when I think of how they look like, god, I miss them so much. I miss them to the point it feels like my heart will break. I miss the lack of discrimination; I miss the pure sure assurance that they loved me, something I can hardly find now. I’m tired of trying to deal with failed friendship in which I’m the only one putting any fucking effort at all. I’m so tired. I want them back. Maybe if I close my eyes my fantasies would all come true. I hate them for not being with me anymore, I hate them for causing me so much pain, I hate them for not being there for me when I needed them the most. I hate them for causing me to be all contradictions, feeling like I would burst from loving them one moment and hating them the next. I miss them so much. I don’t care if they hate me, I don’t care if they truly detest me for being so fucking greedy for something I can never get enough of, I don’t care if I’m being selfish because I want to be the selfish one for once. I don’t want to give anymore. I don’t want to always be the fucking submissive in a relationship. I don’t want to be the only one giving and starving my heart out and then pushed around like a fucking tool. I don’t want to always be the one crying. I don’t want to love them anymore. I want to give up on this miserable existence once and for all. Climb over me won’t you? That’s what everyone does anyway. Push me around, use me like I’m some fucking whore and then ditch me when you’re done with it. I'm tired of trying to predict your moods, I'm tired of trying to guess what you're feeling. I'm tired of being the one you scream at when you have a lousy day. I'm tired of always being there but never truly there. I'm tired of these cat and mouse games. I’m tired of being tired. Sometimes I wonder what will happen if I slip up and give in. Sometimes I wonder if anyone will fucking care anymore. Perpetua♥ 7:47 AM Thursday, February 26, 2009 Memories Damn. I've started them again. THEM. Why can't I get over them?! Anyways, I told my Paramour about them (thank you so much love) and yeah, I feel so much better after spilling about it. Please honey, not a word to anyone. I don't want them to find... Out. I went bloghunting not long ago and found Yu Ting's blog. -le gasp- You know what?! I never knew I could be blogged about! XD Eating lunch with Amanda and you were THE DAYS! XD "Eheheheh." And we could have nice discussions about Marilyn Manson. 8D Yu Ting, if you ever read this, you're a GREAT person to hang out with! XD Paramour, thank you. You know what I mean. (: And for the banana. I left it in class (maybe it'll grow a banana tree!) but yeah, I don't think it'll rot in a period of one day right? Anyways, spent the day doing practically nothing in class, trying to fight down them and my urge to sleep. XD Teach me never to run on a lack of sleep again! XD Had assembly sitting between Jun and Paramour and it was actually very fun despite the "interesting" topic of assembly. Too bad Sodium no longer has any chance because SHE HAS A KID! XD they would have fun clicking. Like what me and Jun concluded, the bio meet chem freak will go.. -bumps into each other and their handphones fall to the ground- Sodium: I'm so sorry, here, your handpho- Wait, is that an algae table as your wallpaper? Bio-freak: Oh my, is that a periodic table as yours? (and chemistry reactions will take place in their hearts, with their brains being oxidised and GASP! Is it love?) The moral of the story is: Freaks of a feather, flock together. ><><><> Perpetua♥ 1:08 AM Saturday, January 31, 2009 Alice In Wonderland Foreword: Because I have no life. And it's Riviea's fault. ~points dramatically~ Stupid gorgeous Alice Human Sacrifice is now stuck in my head. DAMN. But I love it. XD http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zTSdNx_CbW8 Vocaloids are now storming my mind, especially the one who's name is Gackpoid (just in case you can't guess the vocaloid is also known as Kamui Gackupo) and after you know who. I mean like it's pretty obvious from the name. XD SUPER OBVIOUS. And his voice is ultra recongniazable: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5rFY2HTP1nA&feature=related This is brilliant. Even if Gackupo looks a bit... ~cough~ Too feminine for my tastes. She sang and they came, innocent to their slaughter, like lambs to the abattoir, to the deadly caress of death. They loved her and she made sure of it, their love fueling her hunger, fanning its flames so hot that it burned like a disease under her skin, sending shivers of lust through her. Lust for their blood. That was the fun part of it. Them loving her, and she loving back, even if it meant that she had to kill them to preserve her love. Because things change and she could not have them changing. No, her love might not stay the same if they did. If they changed, her love would change too. She could not take that chance. For she promised them that her love will always stay the same and promises were meant to be kept. This way, she'll love them forever. This was true awe and true wonder. She sang and they came, answering her questioning song. Chesire Cat would have been proud of her smile, if he had not told her that nothing remains the same. How dare he, in the first place. He had no right to. For her name was Alice and this was her wonderland. She smiled and waited. Perpetua♥ 6:44 AM Sunday, December 7, 2008 Moonlight If you're wondering about the title, it's tribute to Luminor, beloved vocalist (one of the two) and keyboardist of Cinema Bizarre, who left due to personal reason. (Although, it's still I love him, because he's part of Cinema Bizarre, and it's so hard to accept a Cinema Bizarre without him. And I do understand why he needs to leave. But, it's still painful. I'll keep you in my heart. You're one of the best keyboardist ever. Perpetua♥ 2:48 AM Sunday, November 30, 2008 I'm going home~! Wednesday!! Wednesday darlings! I'm coming home! God knows how much I miss you all. >< Especially you Regina. I feel the pangs of being away from my twin who used to be just one sms away. Love, Perpetua Perpetua♥ 1:32 AM Friday, November 28, 2008 Still stuck The military airport is opened but guess what? There's no flight home for me. None, zilch, period. I want to go home. Will the protestors just inch out of the way for foreigners to return? I don't know when there'll be another flight free. Save me. I love the massages and the manicures but stuck here for more than I'm supposed to? Just take me away from here. I want to go home. I miss you all. I just want to go home. Perpetua♥ 8:19 PM Thursday, November 27, 2008 Stranded Yo. I'm in Bangkok, stealing time on the computer whne my dad's taking his shower. STRANDED. I'M STRANDED. The airport's closed. And the protestors don't seem to be clearing anytime soon. How am I going to go home? Perpetua♥ 9:10 PM Me Perpetua, Needs to BREATHE J-rock and Visual Kei and Punk, Has her heart dedicated to Miyavi, Gackt, Cinema Bizarre, Uruha, Bill Kaulitz, lives life amplified based in Singapore, Can camp in Japan, Can't live without her friends and family, Needs to sleep with her beloved hello kitty and Pierrot who's her other half, Likes Black and being chinese (proud of it, damn you racists.) Supports Neo Visualism, Dreams about Dreamer(she calls him that), Hearts roleplaying, Wants to explore the world and turn back time, Belongs to Midnight Mirage [FAV MUSIC] Oh god,if she named all of them, it'll be longer than her blog. So.. Here are the bands/musicians that she can't ever think of deleting from her playlist. 1. 30 Seconds To Mars 2. Angelo 3. Cinema Bizarre 4. Dué le quartz 5. Evanescence 6. Gackt 7. (The)GazettE 8. Girugämesh 9. Manterou Opera 10. Nightwish 11. Pierrot 12. Tokio Hotel 13. Within Temptation 14. 雅-miyavi- She won't bite. At least, not very often. Amplify It Dir En Grey - Glass Skin Archives May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 May 2009 Scream It Out Loud Part of My heart Her beloveds, Her guitar god, Her inspirer, Her darling, Layout Info Designed & Coded by: velvet-sky Scans: I Brushes: I Hosted at: Blogger & photobucket